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Monday, July 20, 2009

I'd Like To Have That Gift Back, Thank You.

Birthday girl's special day is coming up. I go in and out of shops for a couple of hours one afternoon, and finally I find it....the perfect gift! Now, a card. Stand in front of the card cases and look at approximately 20 cards until I find the one that says it best. At home, I write a nice little note wishing her a great day and wish I could be there to celebrate. Wrap the box, load it down with lots of packing tape, just in case some careless worker or broken sorting machine doesn't rip it open by accident. Off to the Post Office, stand in line for 10 minutes only to be greeted by a grumpy postal worker, then off it goes. Three days before her special day. Pat myself on the back for actually getting out in more than enough time to reach her by her birthday.

One week passes, then another. No word. "Did she get it?" I ask myself. I'll give it another few days. Still no word. So, I decide to email her mom. "Oh, yes....she LOVES it, she's been wearing it every day!"

She loves it, huh!! Well, whoop-di-f**ing-do!! I'm so glad she's enjoying it. It would have been nice to find that out without having to write to see if she even received it. Not to mention....no THANK YOU!

Has this scenario ever happened to you? Well, it happens too often to me. Is it the child's fault? I don't think so. If a child isn't taught to say thank you, they won't. In my opinion, it is the parent's responsibility to teach their children manners and respect, but in too many cases these days, that's just not happening.

22 comments:

George said...

I've come to find that people are most likely to say "thank you" for a gift that they're somewhat ambivalent about. If the gift is super-awesome and they love it, then they'll tend to concentrate on the coolness of the gift and forget about the importance of your contribution.

You must have really given her something neat. :)

yorksnbeans said...

You're lucky then George. I don't tend to get thank yous at all from particular people, no matter what the gift. I've stopped sending because of it.

Dusty said...

My brother, the bible thumper who swears he is better than I because he goes to church, and his family never acknowledge gifts.

I think a simple thank you is all that is needed. Even a damn telephone call would suffice.

Needless to say I no longer remember his kids birthdays or his wife or his birthday.

Joanna Jenkins said...

I'm with you! It drives me nuts when kids, or adults for that matter, don't say thank you for gifts, or dinners, or favors, nothing! Not a peep. Half the time I feel like I work here! Grrrrrrr

alantru said...

If my name was Don Mills my comment would be "Damn right!"

But it isn't. But I'm going to say it anyway...

The problem with kids today is that they have no manners.

Damn right!

yorksnbeans said...

So, apparently I'm not the only one who experiences this!!

Alan, I did think about that specific title, but I didn't want Don to get miffed with me since I've already stolen a title from him before(but I did dedicate that one to him!).

bearmancartoons said...

Hope this post doesn't get lost.

I just finished writing thank you cards for the gifts I got for my birthday. OK so it was only 5 people but still.

My sister can't seem to get her sons to ever acknowledge receiving stuff. So I called her out on it. Somehow I got tys that year. This year nothing.

I dont' need anything formal. Pick up the phone and call or send a quick email. Just acknowledge.

yorksnbeans said...

My sentiments exactly Bear...if they can't even acknowledge the gift, there's no reason giving it.

nursemyra said...

Children who don't say thank you for presents need to go to a catholic school for a year, one where they still have nuns teaching.

I have a pavlovian response to gifts now - if I don't thank the giver within two hours my knuckles start to tingle

yorksnbeans said...

Very interesting NM...why the knuckles??

nonnie9999 said...

giving gifts is like lending money. don't lend money if you can't afford not to get it back, and don't give gifts if you're offended by not getting a thank you. yes, it's rude, but give a gift because it makes you feel good to do so. if you get a thank you, that's icing on the cake. that said, i taught my son always to thank someone for a gift, and to this day, he still does.

nonnie9999 said...

ynb,
i believe nursemyra was referring to the nuns rapping kids on the knuckles when they did something wrong. nursemyra has preemptive guilt manifested in sore knuckles.

Dusty said...

Nonnie, I think expecting a small thank you via phone or even email isn't too much to expect. Some of us go to great lengths to pick out a gift for someone we care about.

You taught your son to thank people for thinking of him..why can't all people do that?

I am so flattered when people give me something, I go nuts thanking them.

yorksnbeans said...

Nons...duh! Sometimes I can be slow. ;-0 (the knuckles thing, that is)

I love giving gifts, but I don't love not being acknowledged for it time after time. Once in a while, okay, but not repeatedly. It's bad manners, period. It's not a question of affording, it's about respect.

nonnie9999 said...

i didn't word my comment very well. i didn't mean to say that it wasn't rude and disrespectful for people not to acknowledge a gift. it is, especially at a time when there are so many different ways of getting in touch. a phone call, a tweet, an e-mail, snail mail. what i meant to say is that, if the person is too rude to say thank you, then they are not worth the time of further thought. does that make any sense?

Dusty said...

Yep it does Nonnie. I heart you chica!

delicate flower said...

I had the same type post yesterday.. and I'm amazed at the number of young people who don't have manners. I give the gift because I want to.. it's good manners to acknowledge it. I also stopped giving to my niece and nephew after years of no thank you's and I told their father why I was doing so.

YnB: I can't get on your website through IE anymore? always shuts down.. 2 different computers, different locations. Thank heavens I have access to Mozilla.

yorksnbeans said...

DF - I don't know what to do about all these different problems people are having with my site. I can't find a help center for Blogger. All I find are forums. I've written to them, but I haven't heard anything back. I'm getting frustrated. Does anyone know what I can do????

yorksnbeans said...

Nons...gotcha!

Dusty said...

YnB~ I have had the same problem in the past. It had something to do with something I had put on the front page..a widget.

Have you changed anything on your site recently or added something?

yorksnbeans said...

Well, I have made several changes in the past week, but I believe most of the people have had their problems longer than that. I changed my template (still a Blogger template). I have added three new widgets.

1. Recent Comments
2. Recent Posts
3. Subscribe to

I hate to remove them if the problems existed prior to adding them.

Dusty said...

Let me try to access your blog with IE..I will let you know if I have a problem.

I do know that some templates don't play well with IE, which btw I never use cuz it sucks. ;)