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Monday, April 20, 2009

WEEKDAY "WHAT IF?"


WHAT IF....
your best friend was having an affair with a married person. What would you do or say, if anything?

6 comments:

highplainsgirl said...

Wow, that's a tough one. Actually, that exact thing happened. My best friend had an affair. I didn't end up saying anything to her husband, but he found out anyway. The only thing was, she was the married one. What I did was suggest that maybe she was making the wrong choices, and that if she was that unhappy in the marriage then maybe she should file for divorce.

They seem to have worked things out, mostly, except that her husband calls her fifty times a day to see what she's up to. Only he did that BEFORE she ever had the affair too, which was part of her justification for doing it. I guess we all have to walk in our own paths thru life.

yorksnbeans said...

oooh...yes, that much of an insecurity could lead to trouble in a marriage.

It is a very difficult question and of course there are numerous scenarios, but that bottom line is the sanctity of marriage (on either side). I would definitely have to say something and not turn my head. If my friend were married, it would add an additional dilemma. But, in either case I would try and discuss it civilly, but if it persisted, I would have to question my actual friendship. I'm not sure I could continue being a friend, for an extended period of time, knowing it was happening with no intention of it ending. I also know I would not tattle to a spouse.

highplainsgirl said...

I've been friends with her since I was eleven, so it's not really an option for me to walk away from my friend. And I don't personally think that would be the right choice. The situation didn't last very long, so I don't actually know how I would have felt about it if it were ongoing.

yorkrose55 said...

I would talk to my friend about the whole situation asking why he/she was doing this. I would listen intently, offer any advice I might have and try to help them through it. Never a good situation to be in.

yorksnbeans said...

Thank you for your input, Toneman!

Geonite said...

I'd tell her exactly what I thought about what she was doing and then stand by her through all of it.