Monday, September 21, 2009


This humorous little story is totally about my twin sister that I don't have.  It's so funny that it must be shared with others to spread laughter where laughter is greatly needed.  This particular event happened a few years ago, but it was just this morning that she reminded me of it, so of course I ROFLMAO as I do every time she tells me the story.

She was grocery shopping with her husband and they had stopped in the greeting card section to find a card for an upcoming relative's birthday.  She apparently was standing somewhere in the middle of the card aisle when she found what she said was an absolutely hysterical card.  When she started laughing, she accidentally let one slip, which could have easily gone unnoticed, but the card was too funny.   She tried holding back, but her laughter got the best of her and so did her slippage, which went into full crescendo.  Her husband, standing further down the aisle, obviously hearing all the commotion started pointing behind her.  She immediately turned around only to find an elderly woman standing just a few feet away.

She says she has never shopped at that particular grocery store ever again.

Now, isn't that the funniest story ever?!   Do you have a twin, that you really don't have, but also has the funniest things happen to them?


Bearman said...

OMG...cracking up. Please tell me YOU farted in a Piggly Wiggly. It will only make the story better.

NobblySan said...

If I had a twin sister, I'd like to think that she could fart wherever she liked.

What's a piggly wiggly, by the way?

Dusty said...

I don't have a twin but I have farted in public before. ;p

linlah said...

I have a twin who bent over to get something off a shelf and did the same thing. "We" laugh about it all the time.

yorksnbeans said...

Linlah - So glad to know others have twins who they can laugh at as well! ;-)

Nobs...Piggly Wiggly is a grocery store in the South.

Bear...I already told you it was my twin that I don't have! If Piggly Wiggly makes it even funnier, then okay, it happened there, but please don't fall off your chair and bump your head like Bschooled did from another one of my posts.

Big Pissy said...

hahahaha!!!!! that sounds like something that would happen to my "twin". ;-)

Anonymous said...

I hate when you walk into someone else's fart epicenter and you get blamed for it! Hate that.

nonnie9999 said...

the worst is when the perpetrator is on an elevator, and they leave, only to have you standing there when the doors open and the smell assaults the new passenger.

or...ever sit on one of those vinyl chairs that make the fart sound when you move just the right way? people look over, you explain that it was just the chair, but you can't reproduce the sound no matter how hard you try.

oh, i love a good fart story. they're always funny!

elizabeth3hersh said...

I don't have any recent 'chortling flatulence' stories, but last year an 'alert' shopper pointed out the very long trail of TP hanging off the waistband of my jeans while meandering down the produce aisle (my girls are always chastising me for the amount of toilet paper I use). It was longer than Princess Diana's wedding dress train. I had no choice but to stoop down and scoop it all up and search frantically for a receptacle to place it in and then skulk around until I could no longer see the 'helpful' shopper. All I could think of at the time was how this must look to security through the ceiling webcam (and yes, I did not go back to this store for many months). Now I do a quick 'sweep' of my backside when leaving the restroom.

P.S. I think your twin is hilarious.

dave hambidge said...

Good subject to start the week with, rectal burping.

Know the ditty 'Beans, beans, good for your heart, the more you eat the more you fart?'

Well I had a WHOLE LARGE can to myself yesterday, so keep well clear!!

Julie said...

When you have a smart kid, they can embarrass you just as much! Went shopping with MudBaby (think he was about 5 then), and he let rip with a snorter that smelt like 10 dead chickens!

He smartly whips around and shouts "MOMMY"!!! The little bugger! Don't even bother trying to say "it wasn't me, it was you" ... it just makes you look even guiltier!

yorksnbeans said...

Nons...vinyl chairs - LOL!!

Liz...can you hear me laughing??

Dave...hope all came out well. ;-)

Julie...those little ones can be a handful!

dave hambidge said...

Still coming, sounds and content.

nonnie9999 said...

i just remembered that i wrote an entire song about beans. it's to the tune of Jean (written by Rod McKuen). the Bobby Goldsboro version is at youtube, if you want to sing along. it was the theme song for the prime of miss jean brodie, though i don't know what her bean consumption was.

Beans, beans, served with cornbread,
Think I'd better loosen my jeans,
But my finger don't pull,
After just one bowlful,
Cause I'm gonna eat all these beans.

Beans, beans, they're good for your heart,
And all other body parts, too,
But just know when you're done,
The aftermath is not fun,
Noone likes you when you've eaten beans.

While you're eating them, you can be filled with such poise,
But beware, you'll be making unfortunate noise,
Yes, you're looking classy, but you're getting gassy...

Eat your beans, beans, they're so good for you,
As a food, they make so much sense,
Though some will go insane, by the smell of methane,
Celebrate your own flatulence!!

Beans!! They make me feel alive!!
Source of fiber and protein,
If you see that i grinned, it's because I passed wind,
It's not my fault, I just ate some beans...

yorksnbeans said...

OMG...I'm on the floor! Who would have thunk our Nons is a songwriter, too! :-)