How do you handle personal conflict? Do you avoid it like the plague at all costs, or do you meet it head on?
If you deal with it head on, do you keep a level head or go on a rampage? In the end, do you tend to receive positive results or would it have been just as rewarding to have found a wall and banged your head against it?
21 comments:
I have a bad habit of avoiding conflict until the last possible moment. I spend more time dreading it than actually solving it.
I'm with George on this one.
I will try to postpone having to face up to conflict, and get stressed about it; thus making the situation worse.
I think a lot of men are that way. Mr. YnB included. He avoids it like the plague. Don't you feel that putting it off tends to make it worse?
Oh yeah! Of course I do.
It still doesn't stop me doing it again next time, though.
I can deal with personal conflict, work conflict put me in the shakes.. It's the assertiveness part that trips me up! And, normally I'm pretty direct!
Interesting DF...I never really had a problem in the workplace. Personally, I do deal with conflict but I don't like it at all. My emotions get in the way. As I've gotten older I've learned to control them, but it still is difficult for me.
NS...I think you and Mr. YnB must have gone to the same guy school.
I have a reputation for being the one who can say anything to anyone and get away with it. It's all in the delivery. If you remove emotion from it and stick with the facts, people are less likely to get mad at you.
My feeling is I can tell you what is bothering me but I have to be ok with it if you choose to do nothing different about it.
I think most people get too worked up about whether or not they should say something. I sleep well at night.
Hmmmm, it depends on what the issue is. In general, I would say that I prefer to avoid the conflict. I go with the "choose your battles" logic. Some things that bother you just aren't worth pursuing. If it's something I just have to do, then I usually choose my words carefully.
depends on the circumstances. in personal matters, i tend to clam up. not a healthy thing to do.
Bear...Does it work with the opposite sex as well? I find it to be most difficult woman to woman.
Matty...yes, I agree, both battles and words need to be chosen carefully.
Nons...confrontation is never a pleasant thing but necessary sometimes.
I just re-read my comment to Bear...LOL!!
head on and to the point, sometimes to a fault.
I really look at each situation with each person uniquely. Sometimes the situation needs to be handled with a big stick and the next time with "kid gloves." I have learned to do this after decades of bottling things up inside.
It all depends on what the problem is. I'm very vocal and I don't keep things bottled up. There are times that I will keep my mouth shut and walk away, but it all depends.
The psychotherapybabbleist in me asks of YnB, why this subject now?
Had a run in with someone, or avoided one?
dave
Wisdom is to know when to avoid and when to face. There's not just a single answer to your question. Time helps us learn what is the right thing to do. The problem is that most of us do just the opposite of what is supposed to be done when the conflict arises! :P
I avoid as much as I can!
Ivan
I avoid confrontation though I always seem to choose men who revel in it
Dave....very astute! Actually, both.
Thanks everyone! But, no one really answered the backside of the question. The results. Anyone?
I don't know the answer b/c I am not a woman...or am I? haha
Bear...I never thought that was a possibility, but now that you put it out there, I will continually wonder.
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