The Great Dog Food Heist

Having been a pet owner for eons, I came to the conclusion several years ago that most of the veterinary practice is a sham. Yes, a sham! Okay, I've said it. Slam me, if you like, but I won't change my opinion. Veterinary medicine almost killed my Yorkie seven years ago after having been a very healthy pup. It was only after I took him off all their shots and pills that his health began coming back. It's been seven years now since I've taken him to a vet and he's thriving.

Alright, the rant is over and now we'll be moving on to the topic of this post which is dog food. During Simon's (our Yorkie) sickly years, he was put on a special diet of Eukanuba's Fish and Potatoes. Of course, since the veterinary practice is a sham (I won't apologize anymore for this attitude), this special dog food can only be purchased from a vet, along with a healthy price tag. Not only does one have to go to a vet's office to buy this hard food, but you can only go to YOUR vet, or they won't sell it to you (unless, of course, you bring your pet in for a check-up first). Now, I'd like to hear one good reason why pet food needs a prescription that only YOUR vet can prescribe? Sorry, but without it, it can't be sold to you. I'm waiting.......

Now....onto the great heist. Soon after we purchased our weekend getaway, when our packing routine wasn't down pat, we realized on the OTHER side of Atlanta that we had forgotten to pack Simon's special "FP" food (fish & potatoes). OH SH*T!! We were going to be away for 3 days. He'll starve. So, this bright idea popped into my head....we'll stop at one of those large pet stores (I'm not going to mention which one, for obvious reasons) and tell them of our dilemma. No way could they refuse our unhealthy pup of his special diet for so many days.

Picture this:

Me: (In a panic) Please help! We're on vacation and we have no food for our little sickly pup who needs FP!

Pet store: Well, the vet has gone for the day.

Me: Certainly, there must be something you can do!

Pet store: Let me check......sorry, the register has been closed down for the night.

Me: Can I give you cash?

Pet store: Oh no...we couldn't accept that.

Me: I NEED FOOD!!

Pet store: (Realizing I'm not going to leave without "FP") Okay, I'll give you a few plastic bags to get you through the weekend. Let me go get the bags.

Me: Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

Pet store: Here you go. (She hands me 3 small empty plastic bags)

Me: Huh???

Pet store: I'm outta here, go grab yourself some (as she scurries away).

Okay, I'm now left alone in the back of the store, where their vet clinic is located, in a darkened corner (she had turned the lights off as she left). My heart starts pounding. I'm in a frenzy....do I? I ask myself. What would any mother do for her sickly child? So, I quickly search the dim room for the "FP" and all I could find was one of those HUGE 50 lb. bags. Have you ever tried to rip one of those open? Not easy. But, the adrenaline was rushing. Unfortunately, it wasn't a clean tear. The bag ripped wide open and dog food fell out all over the floor. 50 lbs. of it. I began scooping up handfuls and throwing them into the bags. Thank goodness it was winter and I had my puffy ski jacket on. I stuffed the bags inside my coat and began to scurry off when who appears, but Mr. YnB and Simon. (they had been waiting out in the car) I brushed past him with fear in my face as I whispered "Go, go, go".

It wasn't until we were back on the highway that I told him the story. I kept turning backwards checking for blue lights....but none ever appeared. Whew....my only heist ever and it was for dog food.