Wednesday, June 24, 2009

"LET'S TALK" White Lies vs. Black Flies

White Lies are those harmless little exaggerations of the truth that everyone pulls out of their pockets on special occasions when they don't want to be caught having done something they shouldn't have done in the first place.

1. "Honey, why does the car have a ding on the front right bumper?". Reply, "Really? I hadn't noticed that."

2. "Honey, where did all the beer you bought yesterday go?" Reply, "I don't know. Did you drink it?"

3. "Honey, why does my favorite shirt have a brown scorched mark on the collar". Reply, "How should I know?"

Now, black flies are entirely different in nature. These flies are those pesky insects that bite you repeatedly. They are not harmless! Their bites are very annoying. And, where there's one, you will find more. Entirely different than white lies.

I hope this post has cleared up any confusion you may have had. If you would like to add a few more examples of white lies vs. black flies for added clarity, please do so. I believe, at least, TL and Alantru should be able to shed more light on this topic.


Anonymous said...

Ok, I will give it a shot

"Honey, does this skirt make my a** look big?"
Reply, "God yes. It looks like you are smuggling a family of pigs in your pants".

This would be a white lie, yes? Did I win?

Anonymous said...

Some other things maybe you could help with.

Best Buys
Fly Guys
Home Fries
Apple Pies
Hairy Thighs...

yorksnbeans said...

TL..I think you might have to work on that a bit (and here I thought you'd be a master), that is unless you don't mind sleeping on the sofa a few nights.

Bear...those are quite good to compare with white lies. Let's see...

Best Buys...quite the opposite of a white lie since you will most definitely tell the truth on how much you've spent.

Fly if this is referring to zippers they would be in direct correlation to white lies, actually a synonym.

Home Fries...totally different playing field since home fries are yummy and you can never get enough.

Apple Pies....refer to Home Fries

Hairy Thighs...not to be confused with Jubilant Cries, I would assume.

Lynn said...

i just can never be as creative in my comments as you all are~but oh how i love reading these comments! i bow to your creative genius!

yorksnbeans said...

Lynn...before I started hanging around with these guys, I felt the same way, but the more you're around them, the more they rub off on you. Although, I do not believe I will ever catch up to the rest of them. :-)

yorksnbeans said...

P.S. I think part of it is that you have to throw logic out the window! ;-)

nonnie9999 said...

here's a little white lie...

no, i wasn't in buenos aires boinking some woman who wasn't my wife, i was hiking the applachian trail like a good family values republican!

delicate flower said...

Oooh.. politics... Those rank something strong than white lies... white lice?

my old favorite white lie which I now don't have to use, "That dress? no, it's not new. It's been hanging in my closet for ages"
BearMan: I think home fries has another definition... it's HOMEY.. according to the Urban Dictionary..
Home fry, no white lie, but I give you my apple pie. ???

George Ford said...

White lies are a necessity in life. When I ask my wife who's the best cartoonist in the biz, I better not hear Jim Davis! :)

yorksnbeans said...

nonnie....I wonder who that could be????

DF....I remember that one!! :-)

GF...She would never do that!!

alantru said...

And all the girls say I’m pretty fly – for a white lie.

Truth be told (hah), I’m a very honest person. But I will confess that I have a long history of telling white lies about black flies…

When I was 8 years old.

School Teacher: “Alan, where’s your homework?”
Alan: “My black fly ate it.”

(My parents wouldn’t buy me a dog and I was woefully unimaginative.)

Later as a no-good teenager…

Two policemen and Alan. They are searching his pockets and pull out a bag of weed.

Cop 1: “And who does this belong to?”
Alan: “My friend, the black fly.”

As the years progressed I still continued. It was a sickness and my excuses only became more outrageous and served to make me look even more pathetic than I already was…

Doctor: “You’ve contracted West Nile disease. Likely from a mosquito bite.”
Alan: “Impossible. I don’t hang out with mosquitoes. I probably got it from having unprotected sex with a black fly.”
Doctor: “Oh. Well then you deserve it.”

But I finally got the help I needed at WLABFA (White Lies About Black Flies Anonymous). I now accept responsibility for my actions.

By the way, sorry about the delay leaving a comment, I was abducted by alien black flies.

yorksnbeans said...

"And all the girls say I’m pretty fly – for a white lie." Brilliant! :-)

I knew you wouldn't let any of us down AT!!

Anonymous said...

I never use white lies.....OK, so I do. I don't know why, my wife sees right through them I am horrible at lying. I get all clammy and start sweating, it is not a pretty picture.

yorksnbeans said...

that's funny soup!! I'm not very good at it either. It's funny, even if I get away with a little fib, many a time I'll end up telling the truth anyway! :-)

Anonymous said...

I am great at is remembering my lies that I have a problem with

Anonymous said...

I want to go to a WLABFA meeting with Alan. We could be the naughty kids down the back of the classroom making paper aeroplanes and causing havoc

alantru said...

Sounds like too much fun! See you in the back row, nursemyra!

bluntdelivery said...

my entire life is one. fat. white. lie.

sigh. and thats how i like it