Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Cash For Clunkers

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish, and my paint job is getting a little dull, but that's not all. My headlights are out of focus, and it's especially hard to see things up close. My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather. It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.


Almost every time I sneeze, cough or laugh, either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!

I qualify....what about you?


delicate flower said...

C'mon.. who's going to answer this?

sounds like you need some pipes tightened!

My chassis does qualify.. it's 55 year old and while it sports leather and is trim and sporty.. it's still got some miles.
Emotional trauma: From harsh motorists and road stress.
Brake wearing: go too fast and have to hit the brakes, hard. Time to take it slower and more steadily.

yorksnbeans said...

I LMAO when I read this! I just had to post it. So funny!

Andy Holroyd said...

I refuse to fall into the trap of saying I need a lube job! Seriously though, my twin carburetors need replacement. Well, that ain’t gonna happen so here’s a joke instead:

Three ladies are discussing their husbands.
The young newlywed compares her man to a sports car, “out every night and VROOM”.
The middle aged lady says her husband is like a family car. “Out at weekends for a nice ride round”.
The elderly lady sighs. “Mine’s like a vintage car, out once a year and then he needs starting by hand”.

yorksnbeans said...

Lube job! LOL!! Good ones! :-)

Joanna Jenkins said...

Great post, however, I plead the 5th on grounds it might incriminate me.

I'm just back from vacation. I missed you! Now I'm off to catch up on your other posts.


Sweats Model T said...

I'm pleading the 5th, too. Except to say that I think I'm worth more on the open market :-)

(exhaust backfiring? lol)

nonnie9999 said...

look at it this way, ynb--at least your hubby still enjoys being a mechanic who still likes to work on you.

yorksnbeans said...

Good one Nons!! :-)

yorksnbeans said...

JJ....great to see you!

Sweats...I like the way you think! :-)

Lynn said...

lmao 2!

dave hambidge said...

It may come as a nasty surprise to the male readers, but it is not only wimmin that get this problem.

I know!

yorksnbeans said...

DH...who woulda thunk? Nice to see you!

Big Pissy said...

This post is too funny!

and so are the comments! LOL